Dear Questioner: I’m addicted to porn…
Dear Questioner,
I currently have a girlfriend and she is great in the sack. Amazing actually! I love her and we have a great relationship. Couldn’t be better. We’ve been together for years and I want to be with her for a long time if possible. (This isn’t the problem)
I have always been a big fan of porn. I guess like most guys. But a few years ago it got to the point where I couldn’t live without it. Now it’s gotten to the point where I have to make myself not look at any porn for a week, though when the week is over, I can indulge a bit.
I want it to stop. It’s addictive and it distracts me from other things I should be doing.
I work a desk job and I look at porn while I’m at work. A lot. So it’s not like I could go running or something like that instead. I’m sitting in front of my computer and I have 8 hours to kill in between actually doing something like working. God my job is boring. And please don’t give me this advice: quit your job and start doing something with your hands. This is not the time to be quiting my job. Especially not where I live. There’s not a job to be had in this town.
Anyway, my problem gets a little worse.
I have gotten obsessed with “live webcams”. If you don’t know what this is, consider yourself lucky. Basically it’s a bunch of twenty-year-old Eastern European girls who sit in front of their computer and write back and forth to guys like me in real time. Then you can have virtual sex with them, or watch them masturbate or whatever. I signed up, and this girl touched herself for me for like 5 minutes. I jerked off and had an amazing orgasm. Then I immediately cancelled my account.
That was 3 weeks ago. I feel like I cheated on my girlfriend! I feel horrible! I haven’t conversed with any of these women since that day.
Well, not directly. See, these webcams, you don’t have to be a member to watch the girls sit in front of their computers waiting to have one of these “private sessions” with someone. You can just drop by and watch them. Like they’re gerbils or something. They don’t even know you’re watching them. It’s creepy and voueristic. And I love it.
There’s one girl I think I have a thing for. She looks like Cameron Diaz, only with long black hair. And she has a bird. I know this sounds crazy, but she has a little chickadee or something that flies around and she talks to it and stuff. This is the girl who I had my “private session” with. I think about her from time to time and I drop in on her on almost daily to see if she is “live”. I can’t stop myself.
This is getting to be a problem. I need to stop.
Please help me if you can.
Signed,
Squash.
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Squash,
If you feel like you cheated on your girlfriend after masturbating to a live web show, then what you are experiencing is called guilt. Why do you feel guilty if in fact you didn’t cheat at all? It may be because you find yourself addicted to watching people have sex. Maybe it’s because of the money you’re spending. Maybe it’s because this voyeuristic side comes out at different times throughout the day and it’s hard to look at a woman without picturing her naked in a three way — it’s kind of like playing Grand Theft Auto, sure it’s a super fun game, but after playing for 12 straight hours, it’s hard to get in a car without speeding through an intersection and killing a group of pedestrians. I’m not saying that your next step is winding up on the evening news with a bunch of bodies buried under your house. What I’m saying is porn is fun — there’s no denying that — but it’s not real. What I would love to see is a live show of a web-cam girl cashing her paycheck, then going home to steam vegetables for her two kids. Now that’s reality.
My advice is: Do what makes you happy, even if it’s watching live web shows.
If that still makes you feel dirty, then for every $10 you spend on porn, donate $10 to a woman’s charity. If voyeurism is your passion, then go to nightclubs dressed in leather. If that’s what makes you tick, embrace it safely, or it could come out in more harmful manners. Otherwise, in between work projects, exercise your voyeurism by looking at nude paintings online or watching Nitro Circus. When you’re not at work, go outside and experience life for yourself. Watch the sunrise. Do fifty push ups. Tell your girlfriend you love her.
You’re only here for a short time, Squash. Get rid of the guilt and do things that make you feel truly happy.
The Questioner