From Esquire’s Things to Do Before You Die: “In honor of Esquire’s seventy-fifth anniversary, we look at the seventy-five things, from flying a Cessna to building a reputation, that every man should do before he dies.”
Now Hearing- Lauryn Hill – Intro
- Lauryn Hill – The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
- Lauryn Hill – Everything Is Everything
- Lauryn Hill – Nothing Even Matters
- Lauryn Hill – Every Ghetto, Every City
- Lauryn Hill – Forgive Them Father
- Lauryn Hill – I Used to Love Him
- Lauryn Hill – When It Hurts So Bad
- Lauryn Hill – Final Hour
- Lauryn Hill – Superstar
11 Comments
i didn’t see anything about rioting… - c’mon now… - there’s nothing like storming the keep of the government before you die… - stealing the constitution and drawing a dick on it… - streaking through the halls of congress with a mushroom cloud painted on your back… - creating a pirate radio station and jamming all the frequencies from here to los osos… - studying to become a contestant on jeopardy! and when you’re inducted and it’s lights camera action time - jump over your podium and attack trebek with a turkey baster… - disrupt all the local news broadcasts in the street… - in the station… - piss on the wheel of fortune… - shut the mother down… - free the zoo animals… - go to the supermarket and take a dump and smear it all over the esquire magazines…
great list, I get esquire and had already cut this out in an attempt to accomplish as many as possible.
where as i think that this list is absolute garbage… - play rugby is the number one thing you should do before you die? - yeah… - that’s important… - make a list of seventy five things you want to do before you die? - and esquire says that it’s hard to make a list of seventy five things? - i could spew out a database of activities to do before i die… - make a perfect omelet? - that’s something that i have to do before i die? - do a flip off of a diving board and nail it? - watch a horrible movie over and over again until i can recite the lines? - live in a hotel suite for a week? - come on… - 50% of this list caters to the economy… - the other 50% percent was thought up by a complete idiot… - throw a real party? - oooh… - how original… - break a sheet of plate glass with a ball-peen hammer? - ok… - that’s original… - but… - completely idiotic and pointless… - oh look… - number 33: overspend… - mmm… - here’s another genius idea… - watch television for twenty four hours uninterrupted… - crap crap and more crap…
number 74: peg the speedometer… - meaning… - step on the gas until your car is going as fast as it can go… - yeah… - that’s a good one… - how about volunteer at a hospital to see what a car accident can do to people?
with the exception of a few entries… - again… - this list is by far the most ridiculously ignorant and unimportant list ever made… - but… - then again… - it’s esquire… - filled with advertising and man talk… - yeah… - i’m surprised that eating a whole bag of beef jerky wasn’t on this list…
Wait. You’re going to Aussie land? For real?
No, we’re hoping to come out to see you folks…and drive up the Pacific Coastal Highway from S.F. to do it (and yes Bloom, that means we’re coming to see you too…and Leigh…and Alex and Tempest and Will). We don’t know if it’s April for sure yet, but with Dawn’s new gig in the public schools, she’s got April vacation. We’ll have to find out if I do.
OOOOOOOOH> I AM SO EXCITED!
Wait. Did you catch that?
HOT DAMN> THE DYLE CLAN IS ON THE MOVE.
No pressure or anything. But I would love to see you guys more than…. free booze during a free concert while i ate my free hot dog on my new free tail gate of my new free truck.
Yeah. Better than lot’s of free things. That says a lot.
Dave,
Let me wholeheartedly apologize for enjoying the list in this magazine dedicated to “Man talk”. I should be more responsible with my free time and my choice of entertainment. I mean, if I don’t take everything seriously in life, what kind of person am I? How can I be considered a contributing member of society if something like this list entertains me for 45 seconds.
let’s all go back to some seriously well thought out dialogue about important issues, and who better to get us back on track, than our cheerful “contributor” Dave.
adam… - no no no… - allow me to apologize… - i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…
i mean… - if i was to cut out a list from a magazine and magnetize it to my refrigerator to remind myself of what i have to accomplish in life before i die and some jerk comes into my house and tears it to shreds in front of everyone to see… - well… - i’d be pretty pissed off too… - i might even lash out with sarcastic undertones and i try to embarrass him by going directly at his cheerful disposition and mocking his contributions to the game of life… - hell… - i might even punch him in the face the next time i see him… - you see… - i didn’t just enjoy this list for its entertainment value… - i didn’t just glance at it for forty five seconds… - i cut the fucker out and framed it… - and… - after i made the perfect omelet and aggressively tobogganed my brains out… - boom… - i crossed those two off the list with a magic marker… - and this little bastard comes along and tries to crush my dreams… - my goddamned dreams of esquire bliss goddamn it… - and it hurt… - deep down inside… - my inner child was crying… - planning… - plotting… - waiting for the perfect time to question this heartless swine who thinks he’s super cool with all of his fancy wordplay and knowhow… - i might even be tempted to say; “you bastard… - who do you think you are with all of your crap artwork and stupid songs that have nothing to do about anything important… - and here you are talking about importance? - you goddamned spoiled jew brat… - you sucked in high school and you suck now…”
so yeah… - i feel your pain… - tell you what… - let’s shake hands and go to bruges… - eat some mussels…
your artwork is good….which is what makes enduring all of the other crap so frustrating…..
thanks adam… - i’ll sincerely try to watch out for all of the other crap… - it’s just that the internet brings out all of my demons and they take control of my fingers and brain… - i usually go into a comatose state after i shut off the computer and sulk about how my words are going to be floating around the internet for all of eternity and it’s not even really the real me… - it’s a simulated version… - an ill communication…
woe is the man of the twenty first century…