I was never going to

(this post was written by Jess on September 6, 2007, and it concerns & )

I have proclaimed a number of bold statements in my life.

I will always hate felines.

I will never fall in love.

I will never get married.

The “I DO” terminology had never even slipped into my frolicking-fantasy-daydream-of-love landscape. I was the girl with an agenda. An agenda that included proving my domination in this world without the help of another man or woman. And love, the idea of it, left a foul taste in my mouth. I thought love, marriage, and the life-long pursuit of happiness was for pussies. I had decided that the laughable term “commitment” was a delusion brought upon this world by people who had nothing else going for them. It sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? I grew up an angry girl, defiant and unconvinced about the supposed bliss of matrimony.

Then love found me.

Or I found it.

I think rather…I let myself be found.

Either way, almost three years ago I met this boy who liked that I was angry and defiant. Two years ago, I stopped fighting it and started letting him open doors for me. One year ago, I began making an effort to be nice to his cat, Abbey, and now have found an entertaining companion.

I fell in love.

I AM in love.

Now here’s the crazy part: on February, 29th 2008, I am going to propose to the boy who convinced me that I could be angry and defiant and loud and strong and wise and feisty and funny and creative and loquacious and determined and gorgeous and independent and passionate and still be a girl in love.

According to Scottish tradition, it is on this particular day when the girl is given permission to ask the boy. And so it will be on this day when I whisk the boy of Scottish roots and of my dreams away to his favorite place by the water. It is here where I will no doubt get all sweaty and awkward and fumble with what was supposed to be an eloquent admission of my innermost thoughts.

It is here that I will open my hands and–willingly–my heart, to exclaim:

“Anam Cara, as our love is true, will you forever be mine?”

And it will quite possibly be the boldest statement I have ever proclaimed in my life.