A statue of the laughing Buddha sits on a lone shelf above the television set in her living room. It is not meant to be a religious shrine, even though the cute chubby chuckler is flanked with candles on either side. This Buddha who brings a constant smile to her face is to be a shrine of happiness. The word shrine is mainly defined as being a holy place or a place of worship, which her house most definitely is not, at least not in the way you would imagine. You see, she looks up to the image of the happy laughing Buddha as something to be desired in her own life. The antique-looking, rusted-plastic Buddha makes her smile and sometimes even laugh. She thinks that by smiling and laughing a little more each day she will reach a state of nirvana, of constant happy.
It is important to be happy. They say that smiling makes you live longer, and she is sure being happy does too. “If you are happy and you know it, than your face will surely show it,” was a song they always made her sing at bible school. She thinks that being happy means baking brownies for new neighbors and greeting passers-by on the street. Happy means you are a nice driver and donÂ’t yell “*!$& you *sshole!” before getting out of the driveway on the way to work in the morning. It means that you do things that are good for you, like exercise, eat leafy green things, and meditate because you know that they will make you even happier. She knows that if she could reach that perfect state of happiness then she would smile all of the time, tip a little bit more, and not be so blatantly angry.
This is her problem. She is a perfectionist and angry. Anyone who knows her (she never likes people to really know her) would say that she was angry and maybe even a little bit of a perfectionist. It started with her childhood ambition to become a preacher. Preachers need to be angry in order to effectively shout the word of God into people. She understood this from a young age and you could often find her standing on the steps of the fireplace with a bible in hand, spouting GodÂ’s gibberish. The anger intensified over the years from the ever-increasing knowledge that it really was all just gibberish. Her anger became a staple in her personality and she began to view it from a positive aspect, as strength. It brought clarity to situations, a biting edge to her sense of humor, and the ability to accomplish tasks fast and well. The anger gave birth to her perfectionist tendencies creating a force almost unstoppable in nature.
This is beside the point. In fact, it is a ludicrous embellishment, giving away a prominent piece of her secret nature. The point.
The point is, is that this once preacher-idolizer, this girl who was raised on grease and beef, who looked towards God and then the Backstreet Boys for truth, who preferred basketball over soccer and reading over everything else, this girl this girl this girl this girl, is now a girl who prefers ideas over religion, tofu over beef, anti-folk over pop, and Crash Bandicoot over washing dishes. She believes, truly, whole-heartedly, even happily, in the notion that an antique-looking, rusted-plastic Buddha will make her eternally satisfied and happy.
*This short blurb that you have just read (and you better have read it all) is meant to be a character interpretation of the all-knowing author. It is not meant to be a direct look inside the authorÂ’s personality, as such an introduction might be to alarming for new viewers, i.e. friends or friends of friends. Got it?
25 Comments
I love it.
i used to look towards n’sync for guidance… - and now… - sadly… - i dance alone…
haha, as it should be.
You need to get BTVT (back to Vermont!).
Soon!
Jess, I loved it!
I in many ways I feel very similar.
What I have learned thus far in my own journey is that one must remember that all those acts, and ideas that we all speak of can provide a sense of happiness, and even help provide extremely productive modalities of dealing with life’s struggles and suffering, but what I keep running into is… well… Myself. The more I sit on the cushion and meditate and allow for more space to enter into my being, and the more I become present in my everyday activities, the more I exercise and do all those things that our ego’s tell us to do, I become more aware of the fact that, part of having a physical body, and a conscious mind is that true happiness begins with learning to cultivate Maitri, which is a Buddhist term for loving oneself in all dimensions
I’m all about the BTVT, in fact of started my own secret campaign, leaving random brochures about new england foliage around the house and purchasing large amounts of maple syrup and green mountain coffee. Maybe he will get the hint?
Ha.
Way to be positive. My Buddha must be broken. Do you freak out in traffic?
No, I am a controlled angry driver. A really good driver in fact, just angry.
Happiness is very important. I’m glad to know you’ve got it going on. Please don’t crotch-punch me.
Haha — I was just thinking about the time that your crotch-pinched Beej when he was leaving Alaska. Too funny!
Hahaha, Dawn said “Beej”.
If I recall, I gave Kyle a good old crouch punch, in which he proceeded to slap me in the face. Thanks for that. I like equality.
thee ole’ crouch and crotch…
I just realized that I wrote “crotch-pinch”. That’s a silly image, eh?
Yeah, possibly more painful than a punch, too.
Dawn Sarli, I can’t find your m*fing email.
BUT. remember this?
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/kittycat.php
I like meditation and Tofu too.
That’s even funnier, Jess, now that I have cat, a kitty, who likes to dance, dance, dance, and a dance, dance, dance.
Way to work in a shout-out to the cat, Dawn.
Hahaha, I referred to Kyle as Dawn. How could that happen?
I am my own woman!
i’m a virgo so i can’t help but be my own woman…
like when i wake up wearing panties and talking on the phone to some guy i don’t know…
or that one time when i woke up at filene’s basement with a spatula…
to be happy you don’t HAVE to move toward cheery happiness. I find that my steady pace down the road of complete apathy for everything human is making me quite content with my world. i’m losing the anger (and the horny!!!), but i know that in the end all the happiness means nothing. Like money you don’t take it with you when you die ( yah! atheism). On the other hand my relationships with dogs, birds, homeless people, and liquor are improving and growing. Bonus!!!!!
I miss you!!!!!!!!!!
If I remember correctly, Arax, your relationship with liquor was already pretty healthy when I last saw you almost two years ago.
DEEE–AAAMM!