This was supposed to be the beginning of my column. I have a flashy title and an image. However, I will not disclose any of that information at this time. I have a horrid pain in my ass that throbs uncontrollably any time I sit. I have been told that I have pinched my sciatic nerve. If you refer to the image, you will see that the sciatic nerve travels from the tail bone down through the leg and into the foot. I’m experiencing numbness in my foot, tingling behind my knee, and burning below my left buttock.
The crazy thing is that I didn’t hurt myself by doing anything strenuous. I am told that it can happen from being in an unergonomic position for an extended period of time. I guess it happened when I was stressing over putting a highly expensive copper sweep and aluminum threshold on an absolutely atrocious 12-panel glass exterior door, that was actually an interior door. I spent close to eight hours scrambling around on my ass trying to make the stupid thing work (in the end it looked sweet).
Anyway, next time you hear somebody complain that carpenters charge too much and take too long, remind that person that they are probably asking their carpenter for something stupid.
Since I began this post I’ve changed positions in my seat over twenty times, I’ve stood up twice, and kneeled once. My ass hurts, good day.
14 Comments
I did a pretty good job with the drawing, huh?
I think its pretty obvious how Leigh injured his ass. But I’m not going to say it.
Maybe you should try one of these.
http://casaelegante.stores.yahoo.net/bsb247.html
You mean he was taking a dick in the ass? Is that what you mean, Josh?
-Adam, nice job.
-Kyle, that is what Josh meant. He has a limited sense of humor.
-Josh does that chair come with tool pouches?
i’ve copied and pasted this… - maybe you’ve heard of these remedies and are already practicing… - either or… - a speedy recovery for leigh!
If you do have sciatica, the doctor will probably recommend a program of supervised exercises, usually with the aid of a physical therapist. Here are some of the self-care methods that could ease the pressure temporarily and bring you some pain relief.
Pick your own pocket. A bulging billfold in your hip pocket can crimp your sciatic nerve, especially if you sit on the wallet for long periods of time, says Scott Haldeman, M.D., D.C., Ph.D., associate clinical professor in the Department of Neurology at the University of California, Irvine, and adjunct professor at the Los Angeles Chiropractic College. He suggests that you put the wallet in a coat pocket or purse to make sure you don’t put lopsided pressure on one buttock.
Stretch your piriformis. One of these spindle-shaped muscles lies deep inside each buttock. The piriformis is the muscle you use when you turn out your hip and raise your leg to the side–and it’s often implicated in sciatic nerve pain.
To stretch the piriformis and help relieve the pain temporarily, here’s what Dr. Fishman suggests.
Lie on your back on the floor and gently pull your right knee up toward your left shoulder. Grasping the instep of the right foot with your left hand, slowly draw the knee and foot across the body toward the left shoulder. Stretch for 30 seconds or more to elongate the piriformis deep in the back of the hip. Then lower your right leg, switch to the left, and repeat.
Partner up for stretches. Even better, if someone can help you with your stretches, is this routine: First lie on the floor or on a firm bed on the side that doesn’t hurt. Lift the uppermost leg (on the side that hurts) and raise your knee to waist level as if you were taking a step. Then slowly drop the knee down toward the floor or bed. Have your partner hold this knee down with one hand while he raises the ankle of the same leg with his other hand. A cautionary note: He should raise the ankle only as far as it will go comfortably and hold for 15 to 30 seconds.
Do a butt press. You can ease sciatic pain by pressing on appropriate acupressure points, says acupressurist Michael Reed Gach, founder of the Acupressure Institute in Berkeley, California, and author of The Bum Back Book. First find the center of the depression at the sides of the buttocks. Then press both sides simultaneously and hard, because the acupressure points lie deep below the skin, Gach says. Keep the pressure on for a count of 15, then release.
Give your calves a seat. Assuming a position with hip joints and knees bent is the best way to depress the sciatic nerve and avoid pain, says Dr. Haldeman. Here’s a posture that should help: Lie on your back on the floor and place your lower legs on the seat of a chair for 10 or 15 minutes.
Leigh I have had problems with the same thing it sucks. The part that really sucks is that you will always think about it when you are doing normal shit like trying to tie your shoe. I fucked up mine about two years ago and it is always there now, just a month ago I bent over to get a dart board and felt it “pop”.
Don’t try to blame me for this too. lol
It’a a bummer Josh, but I guess I will have to donate the strap-on to Salvation Army.
My brother, who is a Naturopathic Doctor, suggested I lube up a finger and massage Leigh’s piriformist with my finger inside his “bum”. He was serious.
I’m totally into it but Leigh is shy, poor guy. Justin, maybe you and Nicole can try it out and let us know if you have any success.
Leigh opted for the hydrotherapy instead, hot bath for 10 min., ice for 1 min., 3 repetitions.
I took pictures to send my bro. We are a very close family.
Leigh is also taking Joint Health capsels, Magnesium, and seeing a chiropractor who is not really helping so far.
Dave, what website did you get that stretching info? - Thanks
deb…
http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/48/176.cfm
Thanks Dave. Aside from the finger in the bum thing, Deb’s brother has given me the best advice and treatment on issues I’ve had in the past. He is not a “take a bunch of pain killers” type of doctor. He is more of a “that problem is happening for a reason, let’s figure out why, and what YOU can do to be preventative” kind of doctor. Which is way more what I’m into. Because I’ve heard crazy stories about people that are living with major issues for like forty years (and treating them with Rush Limbaugh pills) before they seek other help and find out they just have a magnesium deficiency, or need to stretch. SOME (not all) problems are that minor, but are not given the proper treatment due to a doctors inability to actually spend more than five minutes with a patient.
I wonder if my back issues are a combination of being the youngest sort of strong guy on my construction crews that does a lot of heavy lifting. Coupled with major stress (which most people carry in their shoulders and back). Then one day I’m rolling around on my bummy and POW, I’ve inflamed my coxis and pinched a nerve.
“Rolling around on my bummy…”
What Leigh forgot to mention was that he was naked and there was a giant dildo in his ass at the time. He rolled the wrong way, and POW!, the dildo pops out, tearing at his nerve as it went.
A very sad story, really. I won’t tell you how long the hairy, beefy man from Maurice’s held Leigh while he cried, but when Leigh finally fell asleep and instinctively went for the man’s nipple, it really was about the cutest thing in the world. He looked like a little man-child, except of course, for the blood pouring out of his anus.
Hey leigh sometimes having brand new sneakers or sneakers that have lost their support can cause back problems.
Thanks Justin. I just got done burning my sneakers.
I’m on my way to have some deep tissue work done. Translated: A guy is going to rub my ass.
I mean…I’m not offended by where these comments have gone…but just to point out, kyle’s post about the “dildo” was posted on the same day he found out his mother reads this site. Warrants mentioning.
damn.
my back actually does hurt. this site doesn’t help.
love.
me.