Last Wednesday morning, just after arriving at work, I was informed that a former Swamspcott High School student had been killed in battle in Iraq. A few minutes later, I found out it was one of my former students, a young man named Jared Raymond.

Jared was one of my first students at the high school. I had him for a double-block class (periods C and D). Sometimes the class met in room 117, sometimes in room 201, sometimes in room 206 (Don’t ask. You don’t wanna know). I remember quite clearly that, when we were in room 117 (the room we had most of the time), he sat in the front row, second seat on the right. John K sat to his right and whoever wanted to to his left. The class clown, Jimmy, sat right behind him. I can do this for very few of the classes I’ve taught, but for some reason, I can tell you where nearly everyone in Jared’s class sat. I can’t sit here and tell you Jared was my favorite student. He wasn’t a standout in any way, other than the fact that he didn’t really like school.

Don’t misunderstand me, he wasn’t a bad kid. We got along great. He just didn’t really like academia. Sorta knew it wasn’t his thing. He liked the book Rule of the Bone, by Russell Banks, and parts of Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried, and even the Mel Gibson movie We Were Soldiers (before we knew how crazy Mel Gibson was). But studying…well, not so much.

Cars, on the other hand, he loved. He always had one of those cheap newspaper/magazines of used cars with him. He was always looking for a car to buy, to fix up, something. And he loved thinking about, talking about, and just looking at engines. I wouldn’t say he was obsessed, but his interest clearly was beyond a simple hobby. His mother remarked in a newspaper article recently that when he came home on leave a few months ago, she rented him a Corvette to drive around for a few days. I thought that was appropriate.

He had a great smile and had a wit that was sharp and quick - and incredibly biting. He wasn’t afraid to tell a teacher exactly what he thought of an assignment.

And he didn’t deserve to die.

When I first heard the news, I was too caught up in what I was doing (trying to teach?) that I didn’t really think about it. One of my fellow teachers was in the hall a little while later and we commented how sad the whole thing was. Then we asked each other, “What the fuck are we doing there again?” That line repeated in my head a lot after that. And the more it did, the more I thought about Jared, and the angrier I got.

Near the end of the day, someone handed me a yearbook from the class of 2004, and I saw his picture. And the most incredible feeling of sadness came over me. It was just not right that this young man with a great smile and a quick wit and loves and hates and a mom and a love of cars wasn’t gonna get to live out the rest of his life, and experience all those things he was supposed to experience. It just made me sad.

Tonight, I had to write an e-mail to the students who are members of the Political Action Club at our school. I am the advisor to the club and had to let them know that there would not be a meeting on Thursday. To put it nicely, Jared is not a person who you would generally find at a PAC meeting. And the kids who are members would not likely to have been friends with Jared. He spent more time with Mr. Butler and Mr. Legere and Mr. Athanas in “the basement” than he did up in the “ivory tower” (as Mr. Butler is fond of saying) with the “nerds” of PAC. (I say all of this with as much fondness for all involved parties as you can imagine…seriously). Anyway, as I sat writing the e-mail (copied and pasted below), I cried. I really don’t know when the last time I cried was, but it happened tonight. The whole thing is just so sad. And so fucking useless.

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Hey All,

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, there will be no school on Thursday so that we may honor the life of former SHS student Jared Raymond. Jared was one of my first students, and I can tell you first hand that Thursday will be a difficult day for many of us. I’d like to take this opportunity to ask that even if you did not know Jared, nor plan on attending his funeral Thursday, to please respect the feelings of his family and friends and others from the SHS community who have been affected by Jared’s tragic death. In these times in which so many of us have become so cynical about so much, it is too easy to forget that there are real people and real families making real sacrifices. Jared was an only child, and his mother, a single mom. She lost not just her child, but all that was most important to her. Whether or not you attend Thursday’s ceremonies, please take some time to pray for Jared, his mom, and all our troops, regardless of your opinions of their assigned tasks.

I don’t mean to stand on a soapbox and preach, only to guide you a little in how I think Thursday should be treated.