Last night, we returned from Free Wing Night at the pub, and before hitting the sack, I wanted to check my computer to see if my BitTorrent download had completed. While I waited for my screensaver to turn off (always a bitch when Azureus is running), a giant fucking moth landed on my monitor. I shewed it away with a piece of scrap paper I had handy, but I didn’t finish the job with a swift book upside its head. It’s not the moth’s fault that it’s attracted to light, and besides, I was in a good mood and didn’t feel like killing one of God’s creatures.
If I knew what was about to happen, perhaps I might have tried to do something more. I can only wonder.
When I came out to my computer this morning, I found two dead moths on my keyboard, and my desk was littered with moth dust (you know, that yellow stuff that coats their wings). It looked as if there had been a terrible battle, a most monstrous display of moth destruction. Wing parts were stuck in between my space bar and the Command key. There was a decapitated moth head laying flat in the area above my arrows. I could almost hear the wails of moth widows coming from somewhere outside.
Whatever had killed these moths, I thought, wanted to make sure that everyone understood that it wasn’t a mistake. Later today, on the Moth News Network, there was a report that mosquitos had attacked some of the moth outposts in large numbers, and that the destruction was egregious. I think my dead moths, their bodies horribly scattered across my keyboard, may have been two of the victims.
The Mosquito Chancellor is insisting that the attacks were not government sanctioned, but I don’t think it’s going to help matters, because the newspapers are also quoting her as saying that she is outraged by the wanton killing of her citizens, and that she did not have any sympathy for the deaths of any of the hundreds of moths that died during the course of the attacks.
I don’t think this is going to end well at all. Already, the moths are taking to the streets to protest what they say is a terrorist attack upon their citizens. The TV is showing moth battalions massing on the mosquitos’ frontier. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such anger in the insect world.
There are reports that the ants have allied themselves with the mosquitos. They know that if the moths take out the mosquitos, then it’s only a matter of time before bombs start dropping on their ant hills.
And everyone is wondering what the bats will do if a war breaks out. I don’t even want to think about that.
Here’s hoping that cooler antennae prevail.
16 Comments
I think the real question is, who’s gonna roll with the wasps? I know Dawn is wondering about that one, too.
Last I heard, the wasps had their stingers full with the bees. Everyone knows that it’s just a matter of time before the bees pull out their bees that are the sized of a bee-sized barrel and put an end to the whole affaird, but there’s a rumor going around that the wasps are going to take a page out of the dung-beetles handbook and take the battle underground.
Either way, I don’t see how the wasps could fight on two fronts.
Then you, sir, have never seen the Wasps on the War Path.
Seriously though….one time Sarah and I came back from a bar one night around midnight and our entire apartment was filled with I’d say (conservatively) 10,000 huge black flies (flys?).
It was like a horror movie..they were everywhere…in every room, all of the walls and the ceilings…flying and buzzing around us…it was scary and horrible and after trying for two seconds to kill some of them…we left the apartment and checked into a hotel (170 bucks for last minute at the local marriott - thank you american express)
anyway, we tried to call a few exterminators in the morning but most of them said they don’t deal with flys (ok, so who does?)…
Anyway, eventually we called our landlord (who lives next door) and she came over while we were at work and opened up every window in the whole apartment (and all of the screens) and just ran around swooshing them towards the windows…
apparently it took her about 2 hours to get all of the flys out (she said it was like an alfred hitchcock movie (she’s kind of old)) and she agreed with our estimate of about 10K flies….
to this day, we have no idea how in about 12 hours our apartment went from 0 flies to 10K and why they appeard, how they got there, are they going to come back…
I have lots of theories:
dead bodies in the basement
aliens
actualy I don’t have lots of theories…seriously its not like we went away for a few days…there were no flies in the morning and ten thousand when we got home at midnight….it took us a few days to vacuum all of the dead flies from the different rugs and to scoop up the thousands that died in our window sills…
to this day we have never known why that happened….
not a word of this comment is untrue.
freaky, huh?
That could be one of the scariest things I’ve ever read.
it was wicked scary and wicked gross….made me feel dirty for like two weeks….
If I came home to that, I’d be fully expecting the Apocalypse for at least a month afterwards.
you know whats funny…is that something like that happens…and its horrible and it freaks you out for a good month…but then (like everything) you forget…..and it leaves your consciousness….
all it takes is reading something like kyle’s story for it to come rushing back into my brain and now I’m all freaked out again…
I mean, there was no closure…none….I challenge anyone to explain how in the course of 15 hours, an apartment (inexplicably) can become filled with flies - covering every wall and ceiling….
I’m completely re-grossed out right now…and I might have to move.
i live in naples new york and i get the same problem… - i keep my windows shut because once every year - in naples - the fly and the lady bug have their way with the landscape… - thousands upon thousands litter the outside of the house… - for some reason - it’s the lady bugs that find their way inside even with the windows shut… - it’s guaranteed that if you open the door - some will nonchalantly fly in considering that there are hundreds crawling around about the screen door and countless others on the deck and all over the outside of the house… - it’s easier to get clusters of flies to disperse than it is getting the lady bugs to… - this happens around september - octoberish… - spiders too… - mad spiders… - my cat eats them… - she eats both the spider and the fly… - i think the lady bug is a little too crunchy for her taste…
Two things:
1. I have always been and will always be extremely scared of bugs, even one little one…as a matter of fact, I can feel them crawling all over me right now and am scratchin like a meth-head just from reading these stories…so I can only imagine that I would not have made it out alive, had I been faced with what Adam, or Kyle for that matter, had to endure.
2. I can’t believe I’ve never heard this story from Adam. Were you trying to protect your macho image?
it was so revolting that neither Sarah nor I have ever mentioned it to anyone…(until now)
i forgot to mention snakes… - snakes find their way into my house as well… - only two since i moved here last year… - but - two times is more than enough… - i’d rather not get perverted - but - i sleep in the nude and snakes like holes… - that’s all i’m say’n…
i’m scared…
hold me…
On a brighter note: I got two pairs of new shoes this weekend!
Adam that happened at our apertment on ocean ave, the culprit was a leaky washing machine and wet blankets in the basement. Went from 0 to 5,000+ flies in hours, I blamed it Josh before we realized it was coming from the basement.
Dawn: are they cute?
Hell yeah Wyatt, who do you think I am?
I gave in and nabbed a pair of Crocs. I swear everyone should own a pair of these shoes!
I went with the “Chocolate” color.
http://shop.crocs.com/pc-15-4-beach.aspx?reqid=15&reqProdTypeId=41p&subsectionname=footwear§ion=products